Land of the Free
by Hawktopus
Summary: It's the holidays, and everyone deserves a gift, right? Yako thinks so. Neuro gets a present, and naturally chaos ensues. MAYBE a bit of NeuroxYako later, if I think I can pull it off.


Disclaimer: If MTNN was mine, I'd have to be a whole lot smarter, and by now a whole lot richer. But I'm not. I'll leave the deductive reasoning to you.

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**_Prologue: 'Tis the Season_**

Yako ran gleefully down the hall, package in hand. School had closed early due to an impending snowstorm, so Yako didn't even have to run to not be late for work- though, in retrospect, running earlier would probably have saved her legs from the cold… '_Anyways, I'm ten minutes early, there is no way Neuro could-'_

"You're late, louse."

A long leg swept under hers, but before she could hit the ground, a spindly hand wrapped itself around her ankles, yanking her up. Neuro examined her with that typical leer on his face.

"N-no way! I'm at least ten minutes early! Ch-check the clock!" Yako stuttered, as she tried to keep her skirt up.

Smirking, Neuro did so. "Oh? It seems to show you're late, too. Now, how to punish you..." Neuro let the threat hang for a bit, still holding Yako upside down.

"Look at my phone! It's connected to a satellite, and it says I'm not late!"

"Really? I guess you're not then," the demon replied innocently, dropping Yako on her head.

"Oooow..." she muttered, gathering her things. _'Stupid demon, probably knew the clock was wrong, just wanted to kick me...' _ Yako muttered mentally while gathering her scattered textbooks (_'I could've sworn my bag was zipped…'_).

As if he read her mind, Neuro suddenly blurted "It seems the clock needs new batteries; you will have to go and get some later, slave." Yako threw Neuro a glare, and Neuro threw a stapler in return.

_'No, no, no! I can't let him ruin my good mood!' _she thought determinedly. Sighing, Yako mentally readied herself for the beating she might soon get.

"Um, Neuro..."

Neuro arched an eyebrow over his papers. "Oh? Is your pea-sized brain incapable of finishing that long a sentence?" he asked nonchalantly. That stupid (fake) innocent smile was plastered across his face again.

'_Don't loose your temper; it'll just egg him on. Be nice, Yako!_' sighing again, Yako chose her words carefully.

"Neuro, do...-"

"Ah, so two words is your limit? Well, to answer your possible questions: yes, I do know that an amoeba's IQ score would beat your own-"

"That's not-"

"Yes, I know what happened to your textbook; I used it as kindling for that fire pit yesterday-"

"You did WHAT whi- ?!"

"And yes, I have heard of the holiday humans call Christma-"

"I'M TRYING TO ASK YOU IF YOU KNOW WHAT CHRISTMAS IS!"

"..."

"...Wait... huh? How did you...?"

"Even a worm like you could figure out. You were holding a small envelope wrapped in colorful paper, and you seemed unnaturally happy when approaching my door. I've done my research on humans, though I wasn't sure if I could apply that knowledge to a lowly pig like you…" Neuro made a thoughtful face for a moment, but then snapped back to his standard expression- that is, proud and commanding.

"Well? Are you going to give it to me? Or shall I have to discipline you for denying your master his rightful property?" The demon showed off a purple, knife-tipped hand.

Rather fast for a human, Yako ran over to where the gift had slid, picked it up, and dashed back to Neuro's desk, careful to stay out of the pointy hand's reach. With a rather sheepish look, she handed the little parcel to him.

Neuro examined the gift. Truth be told, he had never received a gift before, and was curious as to what opening one would feel like. The package was small, a bit larger than a special delivery envelope, and felt padded. Perhaps there was something delicate in it?

"It's really nothing much…" his slave mumbled, interrupting his musings. Even if it wasn't, it might be fun to see the louse's face should he toss it out the window.

Obviously not planning to save the paper, Neuro tore the poor decorative wrapping to shreds, revealing what was indeed a yellow envelope. Dumping it's contents onto Troy, Neuro's gaze fell upon a police case file, some newspaper clippings, a few slips of paper, and, oddly enough, several hotel brochures in English.

Before Neuro could ask, Yako explained, "You see, I figured you might want a vacation…" This earned her a raised eyebrow on Neuro's part. "Remember that village we visited a while ago? The one with the gas? Well… I found a place with the same type of gas in America, and the town has a few motels- that's what the brochures are for- and also there's been a string of murders near the town, they started right after an earthquake- killed a lot of people, and now the murders, so there should be lots of dark emotions hidden in there…" Yako had run out of things to say, and Neuro had stopped paying attention anyway; he was now staring at one particular brochure, eyes glowing and grin stretching.

"It's faint," he said, "but I smell a mystery on this particular brochure… Yako, we're going to America."

"YE- wait, we? I only bought one plane ticket, though." Yako had been hoping for a little vacation for herself as well - a vacation from Neuro.

"What are you talking about?" Neuro replied, blank faced and holding up two tickets.

*Somewhere in southern Saitama, a young man wailed at the disappearance of his one ticket to America, where his betrothed and dying grandmother were waiting.*

"Er, never mind." Yako didn't even want to know.

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A/N: Ooookay, I actually took some time to write this one, so I I have some semblance of a plot in mind. That's subject to whatever the readers suggest of course :D. In other words, please review! Oh and yes I realize it's probably more like summer in Japan, but it's Christmas here -well, a bit after Christmas, but close enough, I guess... Anyways thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed this little first chapter/ intro chapter/prologue/ whatever the heck you wanna call it. Review! :D

-Sylvia


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